At what age is it unacceptable to still be living with your parents?

[Action Jackson]

I have a mate who is 33 and still lives with his mother.

Now, I realise that some people have to remain living with their parent(s) for very real reasons like if a parent(s) is disabled and has to be looked after, or maybe the parent(s) isn't working and can't survive on their own etc. Or maybe you don't work and can't afford to move out.

But in the case of my mate, he is perfectly capable of moving out but just likes the easy life too much and doesn't want to have to fend for himself. He does concede that it hinders his chances with women(women find it suspicious if a guy in his thirties still lives with his mother and don't like having to tip-toe past her bedroom after a night out) but he reckons that the pros outweigh the cons.


So, my question is; if you are perfectly capable of going it alone then at what age should you really have flown the nest by?


I moved out when I was 19, but would say 25 is the upper limit. After that then you are taking the mickey I reckon.

[TheDaddy]

Originally Posted by Action Jackson

I have a mate who is 33 and still lives with his mother.

I moved out when I was 19, but would say 25 is the upper limit. After that then you are taking the mickey I reckon.

I moved out at 16 and have regretted it ever since, I made life a lot harder for myself than I need have, still everyone is different I suppose, move out when you want, I'll not knock them for it what ever their age

[Action Jackson]

Originally Posted by TheDaddy

I moved out at 16 and have regretted it ever since, I made life a lot harder for myself than I need have and would recommend not moving out until you have met the 'right' partner, still everyone is different I suppose, move out when you want, I'll not knock them for it what ever their age

I remember growing up actually, my neighbours son lived at home and he was 45 and earning a fortune(he was an accountant from what I recall). That was just bizarre and even his folks wanted rid of him, but he wouldn't go(he was a bit of a strange sort from what I remember).


I see what you are saying, but surely when you reach a certain age then you should really be seriously thinking of moving out. It can't be healthy to want to be dependant on your folks all the time.

[TheDaddy]

Originally Posted by Action Jackson

I remember growing up actually, my neighbours son lived at home and he was 45 and earning a fortune(he was an accountant from what I recall). That was just bizarre and even his folks wanted rid of him, but he wouldn't go(he was a bit of a strange sort from what I remember).


I see what you are saying, but surely when you reach a certain age then you should really be seriously thinking of moving out. It can't be healthy to want to be dependant on your folks all the time.

If you have out stayed your welcome that's different, however there is a reverse side to this coin in the US at the moment

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15607602/

[Action Jackson]

Originally Posted by TheDaddy

If you have out stayed your welcome that's different, however there is a reverse side to this coin in the US at the moment

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15607602/

Scary stuff.

Parents also need to know when to step back and give their kids their independence.

[Hom3r]

I still live at home, I get on with my parents and do have my indepentance.

I cannot afford a house where I live for a two bedroom house you are looking at £220,000 and I just cannot afford those prices, plus both my parents have retired and they can barely live on the small pensions that they get.

---------- Post added at 19:12 ---------- Previous post was at 19:12 ----------

Plus I am a people person an like company around me.

[bonzoe]

Speaking as a parent, 18 sounds good to me , but don't tell my daughter

[Zee]

Im moving out in September, i'm 18, going to uni for 4 years! yay

[TheDaddy]

Originally Posted by bonzoe

Speaking as a parent, 18 sounds good to me , but don't tell my daughter

Wouldn't want to deprive you of the pleasure would we, hope you drum it into her regularly, 'your 18, your out the door'

[papa smurf]

in some cultures its common for entire families to share the same dwelling ,perhaps we westerners dont have the same family values[just a thought]

[Anonymouse]

Define 'unacceptable'. It's no-one else's damn business! Just 'cause society says you should move out ASAP doesn't make it so.

Having said that, it depends on circumstances. The way the housing market's going these days, it may soon become impossible for some 18-25s to move out even if they want to. I hung on until my mid-30s, but for most of the time I was on the dole, or doing courses to try to get a job so I could afford to move out, or both. Then I got a job and suddenly it was possible; I've never regretted it. Besides, it allowed me to get a kitten.

Then again, my sister's 10 years older than me and, until she decided to buy the house - and until Mum passed away, last year - she was still living with her parents at the age of 50. And she'd had a job for years.

There is the whole apron strings thing, and certainly it's better for your g/f prospects if you have a degree of independence - but again, that seems to be less of an option these days. Before long, people may be asking, not 'should I move out and get my own place?' but 'how can I move out and get my own place?' It's a bit worrying.

[Rob]

Each to their own. It's wrong to predefine any circumstances. If the parents are happy for the adult child to reside, what is the big problem?

Many family houses are underoccupied with bedrooms going spare. Why shouldn't the parent have a lodger from their own family rather than a stranger or just empty space?

Just because you reside with your parents doesn't mean that you are clinging to them, it's perfectly possible to leave a full independent lifestyle. Indeed a friend of mine has just left home and got married at 40, having successfully run his own building design company from the family home.

[dcclanuk]

Originally Posted by papa smurf

in some cultures its common for entire families to share the same dwelling ,perhaps we westerners dont have the same family values[just a thought]

Yep, in my culture u stay with ur parents the whollle time, unless ofcourse u move to a different country/dont get on etc... but MOST stay with their parents, unless u are a daughter in which case u go to ur husband's house and live with his parents

[AntiSilence]

I moved out when I was 20 when me and my then girlfriend got a flat together. I like being independent but it's entirely down to the individual family.

[maddyp]

Originally Posted by dcclanuk

Yep, in my culture u stay with ur parents the whollle time, unless ofcourse u move to a different country/dont get on etc... but MOST stay with their parents, unless u are a daughter in which case u go to ur husband's house and live with his parents

yes, it is us brits that seem to be the odd ones out, and also how many people do you know now that have old parents living with them? that has declined as well with the nuclear family and social mobilisation.

however on the otherhand there is a bloke overthe road who is a teacher and about 40 ish, he lives with his parents still and is a bit wierd