03-02-2007, 11:41
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#1
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Guest
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Help needed, please..
I have a friend who is just about to start a very messy divorce, the problem is that the ex to be hubby is not the father to the 18yr old boy even though he is on the birth certificate, they met when the lad was a matter of weeks old.
Anyway, the dad is now saying 'I don't have to continue to pay for the lad who is in full time study because he is not mine' he always said he wouldn't tell him but now he is going to so my friend is in need of some good advice..
web sites / books / councillor service, some thing that will be help for her telling him and something that will help him.
I have had a look around but I seem to be having a brain fart with this one..
Kind regards, Gump.
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03-02-2007, 13:09
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#2
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cf.mega poster
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Re: Help needed, please..
Citizens Advice Bureau is probably your friends best bet (and a solicitor if he can afford it)
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
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03-02-2007, 13:12
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#3
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All true..Except the lies
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Re: Help needed, please..
If hes 18 he dosen't have to pay now, as he is classified as an adult
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03-02-2007, 14:05
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#4
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Cable Forum Team
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Re: Help needed, please..
If he is in full-time study, the father's salary will be counted towards household income, which is how they calculate what (if any) grant the young man gets.
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03-02-2007, 17:37
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#5
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Re: Help needed, please..
Seems to me that he has no obligation to pay anything if
(a) he is not the genetic father of this child
or
(b) he has not legally adopted him
In any case even if the answers to a or b above was yes,he would only have to pay if he was still in the education system past 18years old AFAIK
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03-02-2007, 17:43
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#6
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Re: Help needed, please..
He doesn't have to pay a bean towards the up keep of the child, I've been through exactly the same thing, anyway he's 18 now so even if he was the real father he wouldn't have to pay anything because he's reached 18.
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04-02-2007, 07:32
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#7
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Guest
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Re: Help needed, please..
It's not about the money, and the son is still in education so yeah he still has to pay...... or say why he aint gonna pay.....
The help I need is how does the mum tell the son that the dad anit really his dad, and is there any help sites / books or anything we can get the son to help him through this...
The dad always said he would never tell the son that he wasn't his dad and now he is going to..
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04-02-2007, 08:57
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#8
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"Why I oughta..."
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Re: Help needed, please..
18 years is a long time to keep a secret.
In my opinion, the boy's mother should tell him straight away, before he hears it from someone else.
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04-02-2007, 09:11
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#9
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cf.addict
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Re: Help needed, please..
secrets have a habit of haunting you and biting you on the bum i`m afraid. This man agreed to keep the secret and now it`s turned sour this poor lad is going to have his world turned upside down. All i can say is i have been in the same situation with my wife, i took on her child when he was a baby but he was told when he was old enough to understand and he`s a well balanced lad. I agree with thenorm and the lad needs to be told by his mother before he finds out second hand.
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06-02-2007, 16:46
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#10
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There Are No Posts Here..
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Posts: 2,548
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Re: Help needed, please..
Quote:
Originally Posted by gaffer_gump
I have a friend who is just about to start a very messy divorce, the problem is that the ex to be hubby is not the father to the 18yr old boy even though he is on the birth certificate, they met when the lad was a matter of weeks old.
Anyway, the dad is now saying 'I don't have to continue to pay for the lad who is in full time study because he is not mine' he always said he wouldn't tell him but now he is going to so my friend is in need of some good advice..
web sites / books / councillor service, some thing that will be help for her telling him and something that will help him.
I have had a look around but I seem to be having a brain fart with this one..
Kind regards, Gump.
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PM sent.
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06-02-2007, 16:57
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#11
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cf.mega poster
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 9,636
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Re: Help needed, please..
Quote:
Originally Posted by dooper786
Seems to me that he has no obligation to pay anything if
(a) he is not the genetic father of this child
or
(b) he has not legally adopted him
In any case even if the answers to a or b above was yes,he would only have to pay if he was still in the education system past 18years old AFAIK
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I think you are wrong there, by taking the child on as his own, as he did when he moved in with the family and married the mother, I am pretty certain he is now legally obliged to support the lad whilst he continues his education. Why does this have to be the time to tell him, it's already upsetting time for him, presumably the chap wants to continue having a relationship with the lad, I think the parents both need to sit down and decide what's best for the lad, no advice or help will really help them with a situation like this, as everyone is different and only they can have any idea how their son will take the news.
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06-02-2007, 16:59
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#12
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Guest
Location: Grimsby
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Re: Help needed, please..
Thank you Tuftus I will pass that on 
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