A moral dilemma of the physical kind!

Vlad_Dracul · 30-12-2006, 20:14

This theoretical dilemma arose out of a discussion with my partner though it doesnt apply in our case !

Two people who live together (whether married or not) and have a relationship.

At some point one of the partners in that relationship can no longer engage in sexual intercourse with the other partner. This may be due to physical,psychological or other reasons.

Except for the lack of physical contact, the relationship works ok.

If you were the person who could no longer engage in such contact would you encourage or otherwise accept that your opposite partner could seek physical satisfaction elsewhere be it with another "lover" or an escort of some kind?

When I considered this dilemma my response was to say that It was not for me to permit or deny anyone anything and that people have free will to do what they feel they need or want to do. If i were in that position my view would be that i would not expect my partner to seek permission from me to seek comfort elsewhere ,nor would i want them to tell me.

**David F** · 30-12-2006, 20:16

I would actively encourage masturbation and willingly download her some porn and thats it......

ikthius · 30-12-2006, 20:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by dooper786

This theoretical dilemma arose out of a discussion with my partner though it doesnt apply in our case !

Two people who live together (whether married or not) and have a relationship.

At some point one of the partners in that relationship can no longer engage in sexual intercourse with the other partner. This may be due to physical,psychological or other reasons.

Except for the lack of physical contact, the relationship works ok.

If you were the person who could no longer engage in such contact would you encourage or otherwise accept that your opposite partner could seek physical satisfaction elsewhere be it with another "lover" or an escort of some kind?

When I considered this dilemma my response was to say that It was not for me to permit or deny anyone anything and that people have free will to do what they feel they need or want to do. If i were in that position my view would be that i would not expect my partner to seek permission from me to seek comfort elsewhere ,nor would i want them to tell me.

that depends, you saying the guy cant get it up?
if thats the case, the gp can give out those little blue pills, then relations can get back on to a normal level.

if its the bird that has the probs, again seek GP advice.

if that fails, then a long hard talk is in order.

ik

p.s. try everything to save the relationship, I could not be in a relationship where my partner or i have to seek it somewhere else, there are other ways to satisfy their needs

Ramrod · 30-12-2006, 20:23

But you willingly download porn anyway, Zing

........and I'm not saying a word about the masturbation.......

---------- Post added at 20:23 ---------- Previous post was at 20:17 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by ikthius

there are other ways to satisfy their needs

Tiddlywinks?

ikthius · 30-12-2006, 20:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramrod

Tiddlywinks?

well as long as they play together then yes.......

ik

Virgin Mary · 30-12-2006, 20:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by dooper786

This theoretical dilemma arose out of a discussion with my partner though it doesnt apply in our case !

Two people who live together (whether married or not) and have a relationship.

At some point one of the partners in that relationship can no longer engage in sexual intercourse with the other partner. This may be due to physical,psychological or other reasons.

Except for the lack of physical contact, the relationship works ok.

If you were the person who could no longer engage in such contact would you encourage or otherwise accept that your opposite partner could seek physical satisfaction elsewhere be it with another "lover" or an escort of some kind?

When I considered this dilemma my response was to say that It was not for me to permit or deny anyone anything and that people have free will to do what they feel they need or want to do. If i were in that position my view would be that i would not expect my partner to seek permission from me to seek comfort elsewhere ,nor would i want them to tell me.

Jo

Somehow, I was expecting this post from you!

Vlad_Dracul · 30-12-2006, 20:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobster Ring

Jo

Somehow, I was expecting this post from you!

Oh ..have we met ?

Ramrod · 30-12-2006, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by dooper786

This theoretical dilemma arose out of a discussion with my partner though it doesnt apply in our case !

On a serious note, we have had this discussion as well and reached the conclusion that although the fairest compromise would be to allow the still 'active' partner to find another shagbuddy (

), neither of us would be able to continue the relationship in those circumstances......

ikthius · 30-12-2006, 20:59

an independant sex buddy could work if you were both single, the relationship is still going.........

so no matter what you read or watch, someone will always get jealous, so for that fact this never works out and the relationship would die forever.

ik

**Paul M** · 30-12-2006, 21:13

Before this starts to go even more downhill, just remember this is a family site - this topic is on the verge of being pulled due to some of the comments already, any more will see it gone.

Escapee · 01-01-2007, 12:44

I knew a woman who was in her late 30's originally from the Phillipines (not my current GF) and her husband was around 15 years older. They had not had a physical relationship for over 5 years, he had problems and she obtained the blue pills but he refused to take them. They had a very good relationship apart from the lack of physical contact.

She was left with 2 options, either have an affair with someone for a once a week meet or leave him. She said he would probably commit suicide if she left him, so she chose to have a once a week secret meet.

She decided there was no problem, and she didn't feel guilty because she had tried to get him medical assistance and she knew leaving him could be a bad idea.

I think under those circumstances she did the right thing.

**David F** · 01-01-2007, 12:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

I knew a woman who was in her late 30's originally from the Phillipines (not my current GF) and her husband was around 15 years older. They had not had a physical relationship for over 5 years, he had problems and she obtained the blue pills but he refused to take them. They had a very good relationship apart from the lack of physical contact.

She was left with 2 options, either have an affair with someone for a once a week meet or leave him. She said he would probably commit suicide if she left him, so she chose to have a once a week secret meet.

She decided there was no problem, and she didn't feel guilty because she had tried to get him medical assistance and she knew leaving him could be a bad idea.

I think under those circumstances she did the right thing.

Im sorry but thats nonsence.. Sex isnt the all important part of relationships ive managed quite well with being single and doing without. As I said at the start there is masturbation as a release you dont need to copulate to "get off" saying she had no other choices is just plain not true

Im sorry if ive broken any rules using a medical term or the ufanism neither of which at point of typing seemed unfit for a family forum seeing as sex ed is in school etc

Escapee · 01-01-2007, 15:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinglebarb

Im sorry but thats nonsence.. Sex isnt the all important part of relationships ive managed quite well with being single and doing without. As I said at the start there is masturbation as a release you dont need to copulate to "get off" saying she had no other choices is just plain not true

Im sorry if ive broken any rules using a medical term or the ufanism neither of which at point of typing seemed unfit for a family forum seeing as sex ed is in school etc

It's probably down to the individual in these cases, sex may not be the all important part but it is part and parcel of the relationship. I guess many couples would carry on with a relationship without sex, in fact I once knew a married couple who had never even consummated the marraige. (hard to believe I know, but individual circumstances)

I see no reason why this woman should go without a sexual relationship for 5 years or more, just because her husband was too pig headed to take the tablets.

Personaly I think she should of chosen the option to leave him while she is still young enough to make another start.

ikthius · 01-01-2007, 15:57

staying with someone for the fear they may commit suicide is just plain wrong too, that would suggest that the relationship is dead or dying anyway and one is hanging on in there.

there are other things apart from penetrative sex, foreplay for example....

I think no matter what, all options should be explored fully from more foreplay, to counsilling, to seeing the doc. why not seek help so that the relationship can still flourish instead of one partner getting all the pleasure and the other getting jealous, the relationship will die then.

ik