Silent Phone Calls

Escapee · 26-11-2006, 18:26

I was having a lot of silent hone calls to my house phone and my old personal mobile phone, I knew it was an ex and she actually admitted it just before christmas last year. I still get them to my home number and she actually talks to me about twice a year ! Strange but true.

Anyway, about 3-4 months ago I started getting the odd silent calls to my works mobile or missed calls when I was out, these were either in the evening or weekend and never a single one during the daytime. At first I thought nothing of it and assumed it was work, a few times I went in and asked if they had been trying to get hold of me on the weekend.

The only person outside work to have my works mobile number is my GF, and the onlt time she has called me is when I have been out of the country on business. I started to think that the ex must of somehow found out my new place of employment and phoned up for my mobile number. (For a long time I was desk hopping and without a permanent phone so only mobile)

I always make a note of them in my diary at work, and will put the one I got at 17:13 tonight in there. The big problem is changing my phone number is a pain as its a works mobile, and to make matters worse I have come to the conclusion that I know who is making the calls.

The person making the calls I'm fairly sure is a female from work, so changing the number will have little effect. I just dont know what I can do about it, it doesn't bother me that much but I can hardly make accusations without proof. I dont suppose the mobile phone company would provide me information on the witheld numbers would they? Of course there is the added complication of it being a works mobile.

I got a little suspicious when she said one day "Where exactly do you live, not as I'm going to stalk you or anything"

I then found out without asking her that she actually lives within walking distance of my house.

That one set the alarm bells ringing, and it then started to make sense. The calls would happen if I had been away from the office for a few days, or was off on holiday. I also noticed they happened when this person was away herself, and it would usually be towards the end of the week or the weekend after I had been away. (or her away)

I thought she was married, but she is divorced but recently found a new boyfriend. When I used to have a friendly chat I didn't take much notice of the hints and didn't really click that she was looking for a man.

My GF thinks its very funny, especially last week when the person in question was sitting in her car as I pulled into the car park. As I got out of my car she got out of hers, I went around the passenger side to get my paperwork and she did the same, but wnet around to check the door was locked and then "kicked her tyre"

In an attempt to kill time until I started walking towards her.

I have dropped every hint I can, and have even been blunt by dropping into conversation that I do not touch women who I work with.

I just wish I could lay some kind of trap.

superbiatch · 26-11-2006, 18:44

Having had the unfortunate experience of being stalked, i wouldn't even bother trying to catch her out - to her its showing an interest and something to cling onto

I'd go about my daily duties and ignore her as much as possible. Maybe say out loud in a discussion how you'd never mix business with pleasure hoping she hears and takes the hint. If she knows she's getting to you, she'll continue.

Good luck!

Virgin Mary · 26-11-2006, 18:47

Is she (the stalker) good looking?

Will you gf will accept her as third party?

---------- Post added at 18:47 ---------- Previous post was at 18:45 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by superbiatch

Maybe say out loud in a discussion how you'd never mix business with pleasure hoping she hears and takes the hint.

Escapee, make sure that no other birds are listening, you do not want to narrow the field unnecessarily ....

Pia · 26-11-2006, 18:48

Just make sure everyone else can see it, like tell them and they'll be watching out for it so she'll end up looking like a right idiot and will hopefully shame herself out of it

superbiatch · 26-11-2006, 18:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobster Ring

Escapee, make sure that no other birds are listening, you do not want to narrow the field unnecessarily ....

Maybe you should post in the marriage and monogamy thread

Escapee · 26-11-2006, 19:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobster Ring

Is she (the stalker) good looking?

Will you gf will accept her as third party?

---------- Post added at 18:47 ---------- Previous post was at 18:45 ----------

Escapee, make sure that no other birds are listening, you do not want to narrow the field unnecessarily ....

The strange thing is she's the sort that "I" would pick out in a crowd, so I guess to me she is attractive. (Brunette, well built with great assets) I have made it fairly clear I dont mix business with pleasure, when she came over chatting with a guy who used to sit next to me who is by his own claims "more of a tart than I am" during the smutty conversation I did happen to mention along the lines of "I dont touch anyone I work with, but everyone else is fair game"

I used the opportunity to get the point across as a bit of a joke.

I think she has mistaken my friendly banter for something different, I thought it was always us guys who got the wrong impression.

Tinky · 26-11-2006, 19:27

You say it doesn't bother you that much, but aren't you secretly just a teensy weensy bit flattered by this attention?

Escapee · 26-11-2006, 19:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinky

You say it doesn't bother you that much, but aren't you secretly just a teensy weensy bit flattered by this attention?

I did enjoy to a certain extent the 19yr old barmaid down my local making every attempt to get me into the sack, but to be honest I probably had more fun constantly turning her down than if I had accepted. In fact the latest 18yr old keeps drawing glances as she puts her arms around me, but I wouldn't touch her because she's far too young and immature.

I am a bit of a tart but I don't find it flattering or need the attention from someone in work though.

superbiatch · 26-11-2006, 19:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

The strange thing is she's the sort that "I" would pick out in a crowd, so I guess to me she is attractive. (Brunette, well built with great assets) I have made it fairly clear I dont mix business with pleasure, when she came over chatting with a guy who used to sit next to me who is by his own claims "more of a tart than I am" during the smutty conversation I did happen to mention along the lines of "I dont touch anyone I work with, but everyone else is fair game"

You've given her a lifeline there - she only contacts you when you're out of 'work'. You need to put her straight if you honestly don't want anything from her.

Tinky · 26-11-2006, 20:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

I am a bit of a tart but I don't find it flattering or need the attention from someone in work though.

Come off it, everyman enjoys attention, especially from a young bit of stuff!

Pia · 26-11-2006, 20:29

Hmmm funny i should be reading this thread, i get phone calls too but they aren't silent....

I had them a few years back and found out a workmate was getting them too, so me and her narrowed it down to be a lad i went out with when i was 16, who also worked with us, and now and again i'll get them again.

They're weird, it's obviously a man, making sexual noises, but it sounds like a recording sometimes... very weird.

I usually put the phone on the side to let him run his bill up

**Maggy J** · 26-11-2006, 22:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pia

Hmmm funny i should be reading this thread, i get phone calls too but they aren't silent....

I had them a few years back and found out a workmate was getting them too, so me and her narrowed it down to be a lad i went out with when i was 16, who also worked with us, and now and again i'll get them again.

They're weird, it's obviously a man, making sexual noises, but it sounds like a recording sometimes... very weird.

I usually put the phone on the side to let him run his bill up

A blast from one of those old school whistles is good.So is a loud fog horn pump as well.

danielf · 26-11-2006, 23:42

I used to get loads of silent calls, late in the evening as well. This was when I had just gotten an NTL number. It started to make sense when I received a call and someone asked if this was the massage parlour off junction whatever

Alien · 28-11-2006, 15:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

I was having a lot of silent hone calls to my house phone and my old personal mobile phone, I knew it was an ex and she actually admitted it just before christmas last year. I still get them to my home number and she actually talks to me about twice a year ! Strange but true.

I had an ex do that, except she never talked, just hung up almost immediately. There was a very limited number of people who had my number, so she was the only real suspect. The way I knew it was her was that I knew her new b/f lived near me, whereas she lived on the other side of town, & the payfone used was just down the road from me. I know it sounds more like it would be the new b/f [maybe getting my number from her mobile], but the whole ring-&-hang-up thing was classic BFH [nickname my mum gave her after the relationship ended

] behaviour, as she used to do it from her mobile to get me to call her so she could save her own credit! Also, the calls tended to be in the early hours of the morning, which would fit BFH's profile as creating an argument [usually from not getting her own way over something] then storming off in a huff in the early hours [so she could sneak home without her mum giving her the 3rd degree when she got in] was all classic BFH behaviour. After a few weeks I just changed my number.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

The person making the calls I'm fairly sure is a female from work, so changing the number will have little effect. I just dont know what I can do about it, it doesn't bother me that much but I can hardly make accusations without proof. I dont suppose the mobile phone company would provide me information on the witheld numbers would they? Of course there is the added complication of it being a works mobile.

Just report it to the police. Once you've done that, the phone company will either work directly with the police, or you call them & let them know that you've reported it & they'll put a trace on your line. I know that if the calls were coming to a landline you'd just have to press a specific key when a call happened, but not sure if the same is true when it's a mobile being called.

Alternatively, is there any chance either your mobile or your service provider offer the option to reject calls that have the number witheld? Do that & either she'll give up or resort to perhaps a payphone, in which case you call straight back & tell her to pack it in & that you are not interested in her in any way, shape, or form.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

I got a little suspicious when she said one day "Where exactly do you live, not as I'm going to stalk you or anything"

I then found out without asking her that she actually lives within walking distance of my house.

A little suspicious?! For your sake I hope you don't have a pet rabbit!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Escapee

I have dropped every hint I can, and have even been blunt by dropping into conversation that I do not touch women who I work with.

Hmm... I wonder if you've really been as blunt as you think. My social skills are less-than-perfect, to say the least. For me to fit in & get along with people actually takes considerable conscious effort on my part. I've noticed that people in awkward situations, such as yours, are often way more polite/nice-about-it than I would be under the circumstances [& often more so than they think they are being]. If it weren't for the fact that you have to work with her [& she could raise the whole "creating a hostile work environment" BS argument], I'd say just tell her "**** off, I'm not interested! How much clearer do I have to make it?".

However, as you have to work with her, I'd say the best policy would be to avoid her whenever possible, don't even talk to her unless it's absolutely necessary for work purposes, & should you see her outside work completely ignore/blank her. Should she confront you about it, simply tell her that you are not interested in her, that you tried being nice about it & tried to drop hints, but she didn't get the message. Then walk away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pia

Just make sure everyone else can see it, like tell them and they'll be watching out for it so she'll end up looking like a right idiot and will hopefully shame herself out of it

The problem with that is that if she finds out, she could use the "creating a hostile work environment" ploy as revenge, as I mentioned above. Escapee, make sure that you don't state who you think it is unless you have solid proof. 1 thing you could try is mentioning it to someone when she's in hearing range, "Oh man, I'm getting really fed up - some moron keeps ringing my mobile & hanging up, & even worse the coward hides their number!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pia

Hmmm funny i should be reading this thread, i get phone calls too but they aren't silent....

I had them a few years back and found out a workmate was getting them too, so me and her narrowed it down to be a lad i went out with when i was 16, who also worked with us, and now and again i'll get them again.

They're weird, it's obviously a man, making sexual noises, but it sounds like a recording sometimes... very weird.

I usually put the phone on the side to let him run his bill up

Report it to the police.