How would you react?

[Raistlin]

Well.....

My GF is currently sleeping in the other room, she went to bed on her own.....

I elected not to go to bed at the same time as her.

About 3 hours ago she told me how much she misses being with her ex boyfriend.....

[Angua]

Ah!







And how long ago did they split?

[Raistlin]

About 7 months.

They haven't really spoken to each other for a while, they went out to lunch together a few days ago.

[Jules]

Oh dear I think you need to sit down and do some talking, how long have you been together?

[Angua]

Hmmm!

And how long have you been together?
Did she dump him or vice versa?

[Raistlin]

She dumped him.

We've been together since they split up.....ummm.....she actually dumped him for me......

She's 19 BTW, not sure if that makes a difference.....

[Paul]

She dumped him for you and now has gone to dinner with him (did you know about this or did you find out after it happened) and now she says she misses him? This does not sound good for your relationship Raist
I think that tomorrow you need to sit down together and talk about it otherwise things will fester if you ignore it. If she is unhappy in the current relationship and wants out then it may be that she doesn't really know what she wants in a relationship (since she dumped him for you).
The words grass and greener spring to mind I'm afraid, I just hope that this is just a moment of confusion for her and that tomorrow you guys will talk and sort it out.

[Angua]

The age might matter. I was too busy having fun at that age to settle but that is definitely no guide to anyone else. Perhaps thats what your GF needs, a bit of fun, maybe some of the things she did with her ex were fun and she misses that hence the nostalgia trip she is on at the moment.

Do something daft like go paintballing or cheese rolling or climb a tree.

[Raistlin]

Originally Posted by Paul

She dumped him for you and now has gone to dinner with him (did you know about this or did you find out after it happened)

Is was lunch, we all work at the same place - I knew they were going out for lunch.

Originally Posted by Paul

and now she says she misses him? This does not sound good for your relationship Raist

Originally Posted by Paul

I think that tomorrow you need to sit down together and talk about it otherwise things will fester if you ignore it. If she is unhappy in the current relationship and wants out then it may be that she doesn't really know what she wants in a relationship (since she dumped him for you).
The words grass and greener spring to mind I'm afraid, I just hope that this is just a moment of confusion for her and that tomorrow you guys will talk and sort it out.

She tells me that she loves me, and that she didn't like all the arguments that she used to have with him (when they were together).....don't know that's much consolation though.....
__________________

Originally Posted by Angua

The age might matter. I was too busy having fun at that age to settle but that is definitely no guide to anyone else. Perhaps thats what your GF needs, a bit of fun, maybe some of the things she did with her ex were fun and she misses that hence the nostalgia trip she is on at the moment.

Do something daft like go paintballing or cheese rolling or climb a tree.

You saying I'm not fun?

Wibble

[Chimaera]

When she says she 'misses' him - it might mean she misses the crap or hassle she used to get? That's how I miss my ex anyway!
PS - I'm sure you are fun, Raistlin!

[Raistlin]

Originally Posted by Chimaera

When she says she 'misses' him - it might mean she misses the crap or hassle she used to get? That's how I miss my ex anyway!

Nah. apparently she misses the "fun" that they used to have together, the fact that they were so "laid back" together, and the fact that they used to just "get on really well together".

[Angua]

So little time and so much angst.

At seven months I would say you need to lighten up a little and unless there are other signs not read too much into things as yet. She may for reasons unknown to you be feeling pressured or smothered.

Whatever you do though don't be a doormat and don't whine (never very appealing).

[Paul]

Originally Posted by Angua

The age might matter. I was too busy having fun at that age to settle but that is definitely no guide to anyone else. Perhaps thats what your GF needs, a bit of fun, maybe some of the things she did with her ex were fun and she misses that hence the nostalgia trip she is on at the moment.

Do something daft like go paintballing or cheese rolling or climb a tree.

Nah, you can have bigger age gaps than that and have no problems as long as you both know what you want and that you both know what you are entering into.
Raist it sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants at the moment, do you know what attracted her to you in the first place? Might be time to go out somewhere for a talk tomorrow, discuss what you both want and need in the relationship and discuss what has happened recently that might need changing.
Age has no bearing on a relationship if you both enter into it with your eyes open and your brains engaged

[Chimaera]

Originally Posted by Raistlin

Nah. apparently she misses the "fun" that they used to have together, the fact that they were so "laid back" together, and the fact that they used to just "get on really well together".

Well he can't have been that good or she wouldn't have given him up for you! But I can't help thinking it's not very tactful of her to mention those things - if that's how she's feeling? Or is it just me?

[Angua]

Originally Posted by Raistlin

__________________



You saying I'm not fun?

Wibble

I find you very funny.


What do you think attracted you to your GF in the first place? That may be where you need to look to get things going again between you.