How would you react? - Page 4

kronas · 25-06-2005, 23:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raistlin

Well.....

My GF is currently sleeping in the other room, she went to bed on her own.....

I elected not to go to bed at the same time as her.

About 3 hours ago she told me how much she misses being with her ex boyfriend.....

ive not read through this thread through so here goes, first of all i would sit down with her and talk things out, now i would be disheartened if i heard that BUT you need to sit down and ask her if she really wants you to be the one, if hes still around then the affect on your relationship will be too much, so you need to sit down talk things over, ask her what she really wants, my prior experiance (in reading terms) in these situations generally means that emotionally she may still have feelings (we are human after all) for him still so aslong as your both adults you should sort this out and reach an amicable agreement.

how long have you two been going out with each other ?
__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raistlin

Cheers for the advice guys. I really don't know what I'm gonna do.

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I'm certainly not a whiner

I just wanted a sanity check to make sure that I wasn't over reacting. My first reaction was to just boot her out of the house and let her make her own way home.

noooooo dont do that, its best to talk about it, shes had her feelings rekindeled by the meeting, love is a very complicated affair its hard to turn off feelings, especially when shes been out with him for a bite to eat, some talking and breathing space should do the trick.

sometimes you have to step back in a relationship and not be heated about things, if she really loves you then she will say it.

AndrewJ · 25-06-2005, 23:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

Ear plugs saved my sanity.

As for my son I can't possibly comment on the noise that filters out from his room...

Anyone see the rather funny plause to the above.

Jules · 26-06-2005, 11:24

Seems to me that she isn't ready to settle down with any one at the moment as she really doesn't know what she wants.

I really hope that you can get it sorted out

Halcyon · 26-06-2005, 11:32

I havent read thr whole thread but it seems like you two have to sit down and talk.
Listen to why she feels like she misses her Ex and ask her how she sees the future between you two.
She needs to let you know where you stand and both of you can decide together what the best solution is and what needs to be done to get things back on track.

Remind her why she got together with you in the first place and then take on board what she tells you two. Then you can hopefully move on and get through it together. If she wants more fun, listen to wehat she has to say and then attemt to try more fun things.
I wish you the best of luck and hope all goes well for you.

Bifta · 26-06-2005, 11:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saxodriver

Anyone see the rather funny plause to the above.

*confused* funny what?

Tuftus · 26-06-2005, 15:14

So Raist, how are things today after sleeping on it?

Hopefully better, apart from maybe a sore head?

Ramrod · 26-06-2005, 15:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saxodriver

Personally me and my girlfriend have got on much better since we moved into seperate bedrooms, some nights she sleeps in my room but mainly moves into her room.

At first I took this badly which made more rows but having our own space at night, HAS brought us closer.

Nah....imo--thats just wierd

.......but thats just me

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

I am going to need separate rooms, or a deaf wife. I snore some terrible. The walls shake, plaster falls from the ceiling, car alarms go off, etc...

Thats it......I'm not going to the LAN!

**Rob M** · 26-06-2005, 16:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuftus

So Raist, how are things today after sleeping on it?

Hopefully better, apart from maybe a sore head?

Things are a little strained, she spent most of the night in tears and neither of us really got any sleep

We've not spoken much about it today, I'd rather leave it until tomorrow so that I've had a chance to calm down and I can approach things from a rational point of view.

Thanks again to everybdy for their advice last night

Jules · 26-06-2005, 16:23

To be honest by leaving it there is a chance that she will think you don't care

**Maggy J** · 26-06-2005, 16:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by whyme38

To be honest by leaving it there is a chance that she will think you don't care

I concur!Speaking as a woman that is...I know men like to digest and mull things over but women like to thrash stuff out.

**Rob M** · 26-06-2005, 16:31

Yeah, she's definately a thrasher.

I'm more of a thinker.

The thing is that we're gonna do this on my terms, if she doesn't like that then she's welcome to walk away. I don't want to lose her but I'm not gonna dance to her tune all the time either.

**Maggy J** · 26-06-2005, 16:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raistlin

Yeah, she's definately a thrasher.

I'm more of a thinker.

The thing is that we're gonna do this on my terms, if she doesn't like that then she's welcome to walk away. I don't want to lose her but I'm not gonna dance to her tune all the time either.

Ah well then it's not going to work between you.You need to meet HALFWAY between the two of you.

Not like another thread where one walked all over the other.That leaves bitterness..

Jules · 26-06-2005, 16:37

I agree totaly

mrlipring · 26-06-2005, 16:42

I dunno, i'm one of the "take control" brigade. 'specially seeing as she instigated all of this, and you're the one in the dark. She owes it to you.

Flubflow · 26-06-2005, 17:10

What has she been thinking (or doing) and for how long before she plucked up the courage to finally tell you her thoughts? She probably already had doubts a while ago it seems. There is no real genuine halfway. You can't possibly trust her anymore and it will never really be quite the same as before so you might as well do the right thing now and dump her immediately.
If you both string it out further and she starts having a sly affair (you don't know where he's been before) then you could end up with an S.T.D. (and I don't mean Subscriber Trunk Dialing).