Help needed: Life changing decisions

scrotnig · 17-05-2005, 22:09

I have often, in my time at ntl, offered help and assistance to the members of this fine forum.

Now, unusually for me, I'm asking for help/advice/opinions myself.

Many will be aware that recently left ntl after four years to go and work for another company within the telecomms industry. What I only hinted at was how this was part of a 'big plan' to change my life for the better, the final phase of which is about to come up.

It started last autumn when I moved house. I lived in a right hole that had been falling apart gradually for years. i thought I'd never have the guts to do it...even though I'm only renting...but I did...and my life improved.

This made me realise that really my whole life needed a similar 'makeover'. I therefore identified that the next 'issue' was my job. Although I was sort of ok being there, it was clear that I was going nowehere, and I had to get out and move on. This meant leaving a very large 'comfort zone' and I agonised for ages over it. I've come close to leaving before, but always chickened out. This time though, with some support from friends, I had the courage to do it. This is especially good considering I do suffer a little from depression, and what can seem a brilliant idea one day can seem a million miles out of reach the next.

However, it's going reasonably well and this fact has inspired me to think I can take things to another level.

It has long been remarked to me that I wasted my talents doing what I do...that I should have gone to college and then to university. But I had a bad time at school, so left at 16, and seem to have spent the following years of my life almost revelling in my 'cannot do it' status, and being seemingly happy with my lot.

But now things are different. Now I have realised I can change things for the better. I have decided that I would like to go to university...part time, evenings...from the next academic year, and after some deliberation, I would like to do a law degree. part time, two eveings a week plus all the 'homework' so to speak.

I have thought of other things...breaking myself in gently by doing an A level first, for instance. But all this wastes time. I believe I have the ability, and I've long had an interest (well probably more like a fascination) for law.

I know people who've done law degrees, albeit full time ones. Some have juggled having young kids with the work involved AND held down jobs as well. if they can do it, I am sure I can. I will have to finance the course costs myself, but with my new 'steady' hours (no lates!) in my new job, I think I can really do it!
But then....I think of myself, I know what I'm like. I then think that I wouldn't stand the pace over four years (part time takes an extra year), even though the workload, while high, is considerably less than a full time law degree as the course is structured to accomodate those with jobs, families, etc. So then I lose confidence and think it's not really 'me' to do this.....I think of myself as perhaops a bit inherently lazy and disorganised.

But on the flip side I relish the challenge, I know if I don't do it now, at 27, it's going to be too late. And I so want to be able to say to people who knock me, 'look, I did it!'.

I should add I've no designs on actually going into law as a career...I just want to do this because it's a challenge and I enjoy the subject.

So....my question to the forum is...am i doing the right thing? Should I go for it? Or am I deluding myself?

Thanks for reading my boring crap!

danielf · 17-05-2005, 22:13

There's only one way to find out I guess. I'd say go for it. Even if you fail, you'll at least have tried. My feeling is that there are a lot of people out there who are/should be kicking themselves for not having tried...

bmxbandit · 17-05-2005, 22:15

my g/f's sister did a law degree at about your age, and she was a single mother at the time (2 young kids). it's taken a while tho, its a good few years after graduating before you can get anywhere, and even then you have to work your way up.

but on the whole, sounds like an excellent plan

take a moment to plan your finances first though...

scrotnig · 17-05-2005, 22:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmxbandit

my g/f's sister did a law degree at about your age, and she was a single mother at the time (2 young kids). it's taken a while tho, its a good few years after graduating before you can get anywhere, and even then you have to work your way up.

but on the whole, sounds like an excellent plan

take a moment to plan your finances first though...

Thanks...finances should be ok, as I'll still have my current full time job which will pay more than enough to keep me and pay for the course.
__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by danielf

There's only one way to find out I guess. I'd say go for it. Even if you fail, you'll at least have tried. My feeling is that there are a lot of people out there who are/should be kicking themselves for not having tried...

Yes...that's a great part of my thinking behind it.

But what if I turn out to be no good at studying? I was certainly no good at school...couldn't revise for toffee.

bmxbandit · 17-05-2005, 22:17

27 is NOT too late. if you could only see some of the people at uni, you would be amazed how they got as far in life as they have... you have a massive advantage over many of us!

danielf · 17-05-2005, 22:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrotnig

Yes...that's a great part of my thinking behind it.

But what if I turn out to be no good at studying? I was certainly no good at school...couldn't revise for toffee.

I don't know, you may have to work harder, but I would also think that you probably are a bit more motivated and interested now, which should help. And again, there's only one way to find out...

AndrewJ · 17-05-2005, 22:25

Go for it, you only live once in this life, you have your youth, and your dreams its all anyone needs to make a dream come true.

**Rob M** · 17-05-2005, 22:28

OK, pay attention, here comes the science bit:

Going For It (GFI):

Pros:

You might get what you want out of it
You will certainly learn something (if only about yourself)
You will gain new experiences and therefore become a more rounded person as a result
You may discover a real talent for Law and decide to pursue it as a career

Cons:

Cost / Time / Effort - these are all resources that you will have to expend to achive your goal. If you have these resources to spare then you can ignore this Con.
You might not get the outcome you want

Not Going For It (NGFI):

Pros:

Cost / Time / Effort - Again, resources but this time you are saving them not expending them. Use the same logic as for Cons above.
Safe option, you cannot fail.

Cons:

You will never know for sure what you could have achieved, this will eat away at you and you will think about this for a long time (possibly for ever).
You haven't given yourself the chance to be all that you can be. By not going for it you have narrowed your options, and therefore restricted yourself to only the safe options.

Summary:

GFI: Pros = 4, Cons = 2
NGFI: Pros = 2, Cons = 2

So, the Cons of the two options cancel each other out, meaning that neither option is any worse than the other (ignoring the fact that we are still factoring the resources here).
However, the Pros are at odds. The Pros of GFI outweigh the Pros of NGFI by a ratio of 2:1.

The Balance Summary therefore is: Go For It

You have to remember though, the Pros/Cons I have identified are based on my assumptions of the likely Pros/Cons for you. I don't know you, your circumstances, or your true feelings. Try conducting an honest excersize yourself (based on how I've done it above). Be totally honest with yourself though or you're wasting your time, and only include those factors which are true Pros / Cons.

Don't over think the Pros / Cons either. Just scribble them out furiously without really thinking and see what comes up, you'll probably be quite suprised.

For what it's worth (even without the stuff above), I think you should go for it. I've just decided to do an OU degree (BSC Honours, Business with Computing). It's going to take ages, but for me it will be worth it in the end.

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and happiness.

greencreeper · 17-05-2005, 22:28

You'll love it. The part-timers and mature students both tend to have a strong sense of community. They work together, play together, and support each other through the hellish assignments and exams.

My mum did her law degree very late in life - in her 40s. She now works for the CPS and is happy.

Throw yourself into it! Oh and maybe look at Career Development Loans. Most Uni's will have funds to support those struggling.

**Derek S** · 17-05-2005, 22:29

Go for it.

homealone · 17-05-2005, 22:55

I went back to college when I was 26, for 4 years - but I didn't do a job, as well - I wish you luck

Halcyon · 17-05-2005, 23:22

I'm going to say "Go for it" too.
Sure there will be times when the going might get tough when you have a busy week at work and lots of work to do, but I feel like you have thought this through well and am sure you would be able to do it.
You say your life is getting better so add this to the list and see how good you will feel once you complete this degree.
I reccomend you go for it.

**Maggy J** · 17-05-2005, 23:31

My brother-in-law decided to become a solicitor when in his 30's..He succeeded very well indeed so I say go for it..

bopdude · 18-05-2005, 00:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

My brother-in-law decided to become a solicitor when in his 30's..He succeeded very well indeed so I say go for it..

But thats just it Scrotnig said ........

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrotnig

I should add I've no designs on actually going into law as a career...I just want to do this because it's a challenge and I enjoy the subject.

So....my question to the forum is...am i doing the right thing? Should I go for it? Or am I deluding myself?

Thanks for reading my boring crap!

Now to me, although I admire your courage, I would put all the time / effort / money into something I would use in the future

I know you would have it to fall back on, but if you have no need of it now would you in the future, why not study for something you would enjoy and make a living out of, if need be.

kronas · 18-05-2005, 00:57

scrotnig i know exactly how you feel, im in the rut of depression and know how it feels, but in this case i have to say that if your really wanting to achieve the law degree go for it!

look in to what you want to do after the degree what area of law do you wish to join and have a career in.

i think alot of people these days have to try a wide range of subjects before they find the right one, some never do but they try and try new things and eventually find a 'comfort zone' as you have mentioned.

getting the law degree can do you no harm and doing it part time is an excellent idea, juggling work and play is one of the fundamentals of bringing happiness IMO for most people.