confessions of the kronas mind

kronas · 03-12-2004, 19:19

today, i was near my freinds apartment next door lives a sensationally nice woman, to me, i got chatting to her seems nice, reports suggest shes is single and just below my age.

the problem is im a lame convesationist, i have no real experiance with creating conversation, with women, people often think im a nerd

anyway the purpose of this thread is on what i should do if i meet her again, my freind is planning on inviting them for drinks over at somepoint in the next century so im not really wanting to be a bore, seen as i have little hobbies, or interests even a job, it will be hard.

im not really wanting to be fake, i can be myself, but dont want to create a situation where i look like a*se

any advice is appreicated.

as long as its sensible and not a dig.

this is proberbly not going to do me anygood, but hey you have to try

handyman · 03-12-2004, 19:26

I would not go on and on about the negatives of smoking or drinking. I know it's your choice not too but you'll get knowhere if you have a go at her. (thats if she does drink).

Other than that lose the duffel coat and i'm sure you'll do ok.

Chimaera · 03-12-2004, 19:38

Don't be too over-keen - that will always put a girl off! Just be friendly and SMILE!!!!! Then just let things take their course - and don't sit there anaysing the situation - save that for your blog.

paulyoung666 · 03-12-2004, 19:42

ask her if she fancies going bowling , could be fun if neither oof you have no experience

Xaccers · 03-12-2004, 20:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulyoung666

ask her if she fancies going bowling , could be fun if neither oof you have no experience

An excellent suggestion

Just be yourself and if you feel like you're drying up, tell her it's because you're shy (I'll leave it up to you if you want to add the "around beautiful women" bit)
That way she'll know it's because of your shyness (which can be overcome) and not because you're bored with her or don't like her company.
Never worry about telling a woman you're shy!

**Maggy J** · 03-12-2004, 21:34

It's simple! Talk about her and leave yourself out of the conversation.Less of the I think and more of the what do you think/like/do.Avoid politics,religion and anything too controversial.What films has she seen/liked.Music,theatre,food,star signs,animals,art,books,poetry,favourite seasons,places she has visited.

Goodness it is so easy if you just talk to her as a person and not as an object of worship.Think of her as a possible friend not a conquest and then the conversation will flow.Be interested only in her opinions.If she asks you what you like say so and then switch the convo back to her with another question.Good conversation flows from asking questions.

Incog.

Ramrod · 03-12-2004, 22:02

The 2 posts above are excellent advice, wish I'd known all that when I was younger!

**Maggy J** · 03-12-2004, 22:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramrod

The 2 posts above are excellent advice, wish I'd known all that when I was younger!

I was always shy myself.However I learned from watching others.I saw that those who had the most success were those who LISTENED and then asked questions so as to keep listening.

Ramrod · 03-12-2004, 22:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

I was always shy myself.However I learned from watching others.I saw that those who had the most success were those who LISTENED and then asked questions so as to keep listening.

'Course, if you are a bloke, having a tight pair of 'buns' must help as well

**Maggy J** · 03-12-2004, 22:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramrod

'Course, if you are a bloke, having a tight pair of 'buns' must help as well

And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid!

Cue for a song I believe.

kronas · 03-12-2004, 22:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

An excellent suggestion

Just be yourself and if you feel like you're drying up, tell her it's because you're shy (I'll leave it up to you if you want to add the "around beautiful women" bit)
That way she'll know it's because of your shyness (which can be overcome) and not because you're bored with her or don't like her company.
Never worry about telling a woman you're shy!

the problem is im shy with most people, so you can imagine what its like when someone you have taken a liking too is there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulyoung666

ask her if she fancies going bowling , could be fun if neither oof you have no experience

bowled once, i didnt do too bad i managed to get most pins down, quite anumber of misses mind

Quote:

Originally Posted by handyman

I would not go on and on about the negatives of smoking or drinking. I know it's your choice not too but you'll get knowhere if you have a go at her. (thats if she does drink).

Other than that lose the duffel coat and i'm sure you'll do ok.

she does smoke, duffel coat....

i have a ben sherman top i can wear but its freezing these days

thanks for the advice guys/women

much appreciated

keep it coming if anyone has any other good suggestions for a shy person such as myself.

kronas · 03-12-2004, 22:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

It's simple! Talk about her and leave yourself out of the conversation.Less of the I think and more of the what do you think/like/do.Avoid politics,religion and anything too controversial.

but thats killing most of my arsenal

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

What films has she seen/liked.Music,theatre,food,star signs,animals,art,books,poetry,favourite seasons,places she has visited.

i did ask where she was from and talked a bit about that,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

Goodness it is so easy if you just talk to her as a person and not as an object of worship.

women dont like men to worship them ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

Think of her as a possible friend not a conquest and then the conversation will flow.Be interested only in her opinions.If she asks you what you like say so and then switch the convo back to her with another question.Good conversation flows from asking questions.

Incog.

excellent advice, i got nervous, but i kept it going for a bit.

punky · 03-12-2004, 22:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

It's simple! Talk about her and leave yourself out of the conversation.Less of the I think and more of the what do you think/like/do.Avoid politics,religion and anything too controversial.What films has she seen/liked.Music,theatre,food,star signs,animals,art,books,poetry,favourite seasons,places she has visited.

To a point, but not all girls are like that. All girls like attention on them, but not that much. Some don't like it as it turns the experience into a job interview styled situation rather than informal gather.[/QUOTE]

Avoid anything sporty/competitive like the plague.

Chim's advice is bang on from what I know. Do you have any more?

The trouble is though, women are so varied it is really difficult to generalise what to do that will work on every woman (men are much easier, we tend to follow a general rule). You need to be dynamic, think on your feet and try adapt your thinking as you find out what drives her.

My two brothers never have any trouble with the ladies and they always put it down to confidence. I have always been shy myself and when I have been bold/bolder it normally reaps some reward. Xaccers is right with being honest about being shy, which does help you out a bit, but mostly confidence wins the girl.

SMHarman · 03-12-2004, 22:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid!

Cue for a song I believe.

Like . .... ... and don't dare say that.
Just remember in the end the Nerds win out. Thy get the good jobs, the money and the girls, while the cool guy at school is still driving around in his Nova, delivering pizza and hanging out with the other mates that worshiped him.
The be yourself stuff is good advice.
In the end if / when things progress, she will soon find out if you were being a total fake at the outset.

kronas · 03-12-2004, 22:41

im going to push for my mate to invite them around for drinks once his place is fully completed, just to get to know her, i mean them.

although i dont think much will come of this, but what have i got to lose ?

i dont want to be fake, im extremely shy, also i need to watch my mouth, i tend to get argumentative in a debateful way

(so i have been told

)