Originally Posted by kronas
i would still like to hear from someone who is opposed to cross linking in society.
Actually, I'm not I just haven't disagreed with anyone for a while.
My wife is Indian, I am white - we've been married for a year and a half now... it's funny really, any real opposition I see, tends to come from her 'side' (so to speak). When i told my mum that we were planning on getting married, she wasn't over the moon, since she thought it would be difficult for us, since the cross of 2 cultures can make it very difficult, but she said it's our choice, and hoped it all went well. Mrs_love_monkey's mum, was very upset, thought that it was wrong, and that it would look bad on their family, and so on. At the time her mum had been getting her to meet people through the 'arranged married' system, which in this case wasn't as draconian as it sounds - it just tends to be going on essentially blind dates, and deciding if you like the other person - admittedly you're not expected to have a long relationship with them , you're expected to decide you want to marry them after the 3rd or 4th meeting - it's not great, IMO, but it's a lot better than a lot of people have, some people have the "here's 2 people pick one to marry" or "we've decided youre going to marry this person".
My wife told me that the only thing she could have done that was worse (in her mums eyes) than say she was marrying a white man, was to say that she was going to marry a black man - she says it's very rare that you see Indian girls/men with black men/women - because the 'old culture' is even more opposed to that, simply because in India the majority of the servants tend to be black, so marry a black person is very much seen as marrying beneath you, and bringing shame on the family.
So we got married....
....and now to some extent, my wife is a social leper - a group of so called 'friends' from her community no longer invite her out anywhere because she's married a white man, and no longer fits in with the perfect Indian life, with the 2.2 kids. She's excluded from some social gatherings for the same reason - and this really hurts her - because these are people that she grew up with, and so on, and now a lot of the time it's like she doesn't exist.
To be fair, her mum and dad, who weren't keen on the idea, have welcomed me in, and I think they do appreciate that I've made her far happier than she probably would have been with someone that she had only met a few times, since we had a relationship for 2 to 3 years, and in that time saw most of the aspects of each others personalities, so we did actually know each other.