A Hard Days Night.

[Earl of Bronze]

Well, just back into the house after attending my cousin's evening wedding function,

Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought it would be a difficult time for me, but I swear the first song the DJ played was designed to get me.

As soon as the first song of the disco started I was in $h1t state, and had to step outside to get myself together. I think the 3rd or 4th song the DJ played was Garth Brooks 'If Tomorrow Never Comes', promptly followed by the theme tune from Notting Hill. WTF, was the DJ trying to find every song that would rip my guts right out.

Bugger it, roll on the Security Contract in Iraq. If my *****ty luck continues I'll not last 12 months. Truthfully, I not miss the abortion my life is at the minute................................

[Chris W]

I don't know much (or infact anything) about your situation... i am going to try to avoid saying anything that is patronising/ cliched/ annoying so this may be a short reply!

We all go through bad patches in our lives, i am having a bad day today, probably nothing compared to you, but when i wake up tomorrow things may well be better (that may well be tempting fate saying that...)

Just grin and bear it, if you have anything to look forward to think about that, if you don't then just live each day as it comes.

I am crap at saying things in situations like this... but i am sure someone will be along soon with some better words than i have

MB

[ZrByte]

Not much to say really, life can be crap, cruel etc. At least you know when you hit rock bottom as they say the only way is up Im sure things will start looking up soon.

And I dont know anything about your situation either, was there a memo I missed or something?

[Earl of Bronze]

Originally Posted by monkeybreath

I don't know much (or infact anything) about your situation... i am going to try to avoid saying anything that is patronising/ cliched/ annoying so this may be a short reply!

We all go through bad patches in our lives, i am having a bad day today, probably nothing compared to you, but when i wake up tomorrow things may well be better (that may well be tempting fate saying that...)

Just grin and bear it, if you have anything to look forward to think about that, if you don't then just live each day as it comes.

I am crap at saying things in situations like this... but i am sure someone will be along soon with some better words than i have

MB

I appreciate what you are trying to say monkeybreath, but I will shortly be going to bed, and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with WONT be there (and Hasnt for 20 weeks). When I wake up in the morning, Maureen wont be there, and I'll think ' why her and not me, should have been me'. Perhaps I'm going mad, I dont know. Perhaps what I feel ( the guilt of surviving, being alive when a better person is dead) is what everyone fells when a loved one dies. I dont know.

All I know is that a person who was 10, a 100, whatever many times the human being I am/ was is dead, and I'm still here.

As much as I love my family and friends, I dont care enough any more. I'm more afraid of living than I am of dying.

The fact I have to be half drunk to admitt this, just shows what a chicken$h1t I've turned into.

I think I'll regret posting this thread in the morning, but sod it, too late now................................

[Earl of Bronze]

Originally Posted by ZrByte

Not much to say really, life can be crap, cruel etc. At least you know when you hit rock bottom as they say the only way is up Im sure things will start looking up soon.

And I dont know anything about your situation either, was there a memo I missed or something?

If you are in any way, even slightly interested, see this thread.


http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/sh...ad.php?t=10308

[homealone]

It's like that, EoB, you think you are coping, life is getting back to 'normal' - & then a sight, a sound, a smell - knocks you right back.

All I can say is a bit of a cliché, but as time goes on these episodes get fewer.

I hope it helps that you can share your thoughts in here - just don't regret that you cared so much for someone, who was so cruelly taken away.

[Bex]

booze is never a good idea if you've gone through something major in your life like you have. it's a depressant.
i've never lost anyone as close to me as a partner, but i did support someone through the loss of their dad......... it was a really tough road. one they are still going through two years on. things may seem bleak and worthless now, but things might get better. i am not going to pretend that you will ever get over maureen, because you prolly won't, but with time maybe coping with her death will become easier.

and don't forget you always have us lot to talk to.... even if you sent a pm with numerous swear words in.

also have you had/thought of having counselling?

to you

[SMHarman]

Remember, the DJ was not trying to get to you just doing his soppy song playing job. Reading the backstory, you met Maureen at a family wedding, so the function must have been quite an emotional trigger for you too.

As you've said this happened less than 6 months ago the mental wounds (and most probably your physical wounds) are still raw and healing. It would be a strange person not to react in the way you did, crying is a healthy (though not considered a very manly) outpouring of emotion.

Talk, cry, share the hurt and emotions and in time life will become easier, bex and homealone have written everything else far more eloquantly than I could so... My thoughts are with you.

[Ramrod]

It's a cliche, but it will hurt less as time goes by.....