bloody annoying.

[kronas]

have you ever wanted to shout at someone but being nice to people is your forte ?

it annoys me how people can have the gaul to approach you in the street as if you REALLY know them and constantly ask for help on the same subject.

im not talking about people who are strangers but you have seen around or know someone you know, they only speak to you/see you when they need something.

im all for helping people as that is the real me, but i am getting sick of people approaching me on the same subject over and over and being reliant on me helping them all the time, they talk to you 'buddy' you up.

at the end of it if they get what they want or dont you wont hear from them again.

until they need something, everyone is like that around me....

wtf happend to freindships, spending time talking etc ?

sometimes i feel that people take advantage of me.

and its getting annoying, so how could i go about saying no, its not in my vocabulary when it comes to helping people

[Alanmelon]

Sounds like something specific's got your back up...?

I know exactly what you mean though, I'm a bit of a walkover too and some people seem to push it as far as they can.

You ever find that you're trying to come up with excuses not to meet their requests rather than say no?

[Scrubbs]

What brought this on? or shouldn't I ask?

[idi banashapan]

doesn't hurt for you to make the effort to talk to them if you haven't heard from them in a while.....

[kronas]

right the specifics are:

people approach me about pc's EVERY TIME.

some people i dont know very well but have seen/met through other people say 'have you got a mobile number i heard your good with pc's' and then others who come up to you and say:

"hey i have a problem with pc such as such a program wont work or something along those lines need a ram upgrade."

some i have only seen on the streets that know about me through word of mouth.

then others who i met through freinds ring me and say can you help me with "IE" or network problem.

every time, without fail, every single person wants wants wants, even someone who i thought was a freind has me around 90% of the time because of a pc related problem.

as i said i dont mind helping but its a tad annoying that people recognise you for one thing, then keep contacting/talking to you about one thing.

its just a use and then throw away situation really....

Originally Posted by Bender

doesn't hurt for you to make the effort to talk to them if you haven't heard from them in a while.....

i do, but generally no one has anything to say, 'interests are only vested in when you need someones help then contact is made'

otherwise the person never contacts you or is busy, expects you to help 'on demand' 'right then' right now'

[Alanmelon]

I see what you mean.

How about taking pride in the fact that your skills are so legendary, these people you barely know are well aware of them and see you as a trustworthy point of contact?

I wouldn't accept their approaches as friendship, just try to remember that this certainly isn't a result of anything you've done and try not to be suspicious of everyone as wanting something from you, it may not come across well to those who are genuine friends.

[Paul M]

Originally Posted by kronas

have you ever wanted to shout at someone but being nice to people is your forte ?

Nope - never been a problem

[Ramrod]

If people that you barely know ask you for pc help then agree to do so for a fee.
......not too much as it's 'a favour for a buddy' but not too little so as to deter the casual time wasters

[Scrubbs]

I would of thought that while these people are making contact, even if it is only about PC's it is a good opportunity to expand the conversation to other subjects, music, sport. or whatever. Even bring it back round to common interests ontinternet, maybe fav web pages etc
every thing can be turned to your advantage with a bit of thinking

It could be worse you could be sitting on your own in a room with no contact with anyone( only kidding)

[Chris W]

Originally Posted by kronas

<snip>

I get the same thing mate, fact of life! i even get emails to my hotmail account and people adding me to their msn list to ask me questions about ntl... if i am in a good mood i will help, if i am a bad mood they soon get blocked and deleted

IMO the way to sort your real friends from your 'associates' is to look at situations like this, friends will be there whatever and you can just meet up and have a chat about anything. "associates" will only be there when they want/need something.

My approach is just to do what you want, if you feel like helping them do, otherwise just say no, or if you don't want to be this harsh make up some excuse instead.

MB

[dilligaf1701]

Originally Posted by kronas

have you ever wanted to shout at someone but being nice to people is your forte ?

it annoys me how people can have the gaul to approach you in the street as if you REALLY know them and constantly ask for help on the same subject.

im not talking about people who are strangers but you have seen around or know someone you know, they only speak to you/see you when they need something.

im all for helping people as that is the real me, but i am getting sick of people approaching me on the same subject over and over and being reliant on me helping them all the time, they talk to you 'buddy' you up.

at the end of it if they get what they want or dont you wont hear from them again.

until they need something, everyone is like that around me....

wtf happend to freindships, spending time talking etc ?

sometimes i feel that people take advantage of me.

and its getting annoying, so how could i go about saying no, its not in my vocabulary when it comes to helping people

Yes - ALL THE TIME....

Some people don't even speak to me for a couple of months THEN contact me to fix their pc!!!

It came to a head recently when they called me from where they work and asked me to come and sort it 'as a favour' - I told them how much it was going to cost them and I never heard from them again.

You need to take a stand - the more you let people do it the more they will get away with it.

Mind you the missus also said to me 'you should charge them' and proceeded (in the same sentence) to tell me that one of her friends has a problem and would I look at it

So - the trouble is how do you balance between helping out and being taken advantage of? - I wish I knew.

I don't mind helping on somewhere like here - 'cos you can drop in wherever and not feel under pressure.

Sorry - rant over.

[Marge]

Originally Posted by monkeybreath

I get the same thing mate, fact of life! MB

Poor MB, you even get people ringing you up and bending your ear

[iadom]

It's a fact of life I'm afraid, "a friend in need is a bloody nuisance" or something like that. In my line of work, and I guess that goes for Ramrod, Alanmelon or indeed anyone with a trade/profession you will always get "friends" like these.

I have not advertised for over 20 years, all my work coming from recommendation or recalls. The one thing that does annoy me is when someone who I do not know from Adam, rings me up for the very first time, then insists on constantly calling me Jim, in the vain hope that their unwanted familiarity will somehow result in preferential treatment.

[kronas]

Originally Posted by Scrubbs

I would of thought that while these people are making contact, even if it is only about PC's it is a good opportunity to expand the conversation to other subjects, music, sport. or whatever. Even bring it back round to common interests ontinternet, maybe fav web pages etc
every thing can be turned to your advantage with a bit of thinking

they are in there 'own world' as far as they are concerned i am the 'support' for pc's

Originally Posted by Scrubbs

It could be worse you could be sitting on your own in a room with no contact with anyone( only kidding)

i was like that until the age of 14, sometimes i wish i stayed like that, problem is i like interacting with people now, then find it hugely boring being stuck infront of a moniter....

Originally Posted by Ramrod

If people that you barely know ask you for pc help then agree to do so for a fee.

i have done this in the past, but for some they choose to ignore it and say 'well help us out man dont be tight' etc try to get me to do it.

Originally Posted by Ramrod

......not too much as it's 'a favour for a buddy' but not too little so as to deter the casual time wasters

majority of them are wasters.

Originally Posted by Alanmelon

I see what you mean.

im not being an ass about it seriously, as i said before i like helping people its no problem for me.

Originally Posted by Alanmelon

How about taking pride in the fact that your skills are so legendary, these people you barely know are well aware of them and see you as a trustworthy point of contact?

its not about being trustworthy, im there, im proberbly one of the only few that know enough about computers around here to make a diffarence, what i mean by 'im there' is i am around, i provide an almost instant service if i am not busy, which is usally the case.

Originally Posted by Alanmelon

I wouldn't accept their approaches as friendship, just try to remember that this certainly isn't a result of anything you've done and try not to be suspicious of everyone as wanting something from you, it may not come across well to those who are genuine friends.

i dont class them as freinds, but even those who i thought were freinds are the same, maybe its me

[Alanmelon]

Is it the case that you;

a) Resent giving these people your time for free
b) Resent the fact that they appear to be using you

or

c) Are hoping they are genuinely befriending you only to find that its false

which ****es you off?

If a) or b), then its going to be a case of standing up for yourself and either charging them or refusing to do what they request (a little excuse can go a long way) Either that or sucking it up and just do them a favour.

If c) then I think you'll just have to take a little longer to determine people's true intentions, and let them prove themselves to be a true friend before agreeing to do favours.