Kids horror stories

[Ramrod]

Inspired by Towny's story about his kid and the raisin I was wondering if anyone else has a (humerous) story about their kids that was terrifying at the time?

To kick off:
We were in Bournemouth staying with friends when our eldest (2.5yo at the time) started to look/act ill. He was getting more and more lethargic and non-responsive. As if he had meningitis but without the other signs. We were seriously worried and after about half a hour carried him to the car to take him to Bournemouth general (along with our 1yo).
During the short ride he appeared to be on the verge of unconciousness.
I scooped him out of the car seat and charged into casualty clutching him to my chest.....the sliding doors open.....all heads twist round to see who is coming in.....Alex throws up all over me at point blank range....the assembled onlooking crowd draws back in disgust and sympathy as I stand there dripping with vomit holding a, by now, quite chirpy toddler

[Xaccers]

When I was about two years old my mum found me with my head sticking out through the bars of the gate of a friend's garden.
She and her friends tried pushing my head through, using butter and washing up liquid around my ears but my head just would not fit through.
Panicing and about to phone the fire brigade to come and bend the bars, a passing man saw the commotion and came over to investigate.
Seeing the problem, he took my body, turned me on my side and slipped me out through the bars.
What is it they say about women and logic problems?