seriously annoying me now........

kronas · 02-04-2004, 02:53

ok many of you know i have been having problems lately, with life in general, well things arent much better, faced with an ever increasing upsurge in boredom, and risking a possabilty of taking anti depressants (something which i dont want to do) additional problems are, everyone is annoying me, in terms of my family and freinds, i feel like telling them to shut the f*** up and just consolidate myself in to a life of boredom and suppression in my own world, i dont want that, but im lost at the moment and dont know what to do............

its like being pulled in two ways, you want to be alone, yet you want to be active do something........

**Paul M** · 02-04-2004, 03:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

its like being pulled in two ways, you want to be alone, yet you want to be active do something........

So why not go & do something active, on your own ?

kronas · 02-04-2004, 03:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by pem

So why not go & do something active, on your own ?

tried getting a job failed......... (due to lack of qualifications)

not much else to do, i have conceded the fact i cant get anywhere in life, so the moments where i try and try are long gone.......

i dont have the drive anymore, too many faliures, the life i have led is a faliure initself.........

you tell me what i have to gain, when i have absolutely nothing.............

despite trying my damnedest to 'turn things around' and it all falls apart.

Xaccers · 02-04-2004, 03:10

Go to college and get qualifications then.

Or just drop out and become a goth

philip.j.fry · 02-04-2004, 03:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Or just drop out and become a goth

Oi! Some of us are almost qualified

kronas · 02-04-2004, 03:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Go to college and get qualifications then.

tried that on many occasions, my health stops me from doing so (other problems)

even tried learndirect (you have to be 19) see stuff like this happens to me all the time, even if its not my own doing

Quote:

Or just drop out and become a goth

Xaccers · 02-04-2004, 03:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by philip.j.fry

Oi! Some of us are almost qualified

oops sorry, I didn't mean to cause offence

And you can't be a goth! you smiled!

philip.j.fry · 02-04-2004, 03:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

oops sorry, I didn't mean to cause offence

And you can't be a goth! you smiled!

Damn! errr, it wasn't a smile, it was a grimace

Edit: Sorry for the pants smiley, it was the only goth one I could find

kronas · 02-04-2004, 03:53

thanks for making this thread a joke guys, im glad you lot are laughing and having a good time in my 'serious' thread

Xaccers · 02-04-2004, 04:03

Ok serious head on.
You're at that stage of life when your body is telling you that you are a man, and not a child, so its viewing your parents as holding you back somewhat.
You're in a situation where you want to be able to run free, but it's just not possible.
You're mind's feeling trapped.
Probably your friends seem childlike, or clingy, adding to the mental pressure.
You've got health problems (no idea what they are, if you wanted us to know, I'm sure you'd tell us) which doesn't help.
You've been knocked back in job interviews because you don't have the qualifications you need due to being held back by your health.
You want someone to come along and fix it all, but then again you don't because that will take the control away from you.
People around you aren't on the same wavelength as you so they aren't able to pick up on the sublte bodylanguage to adjust to how you want them to be.
The final part of the changes to your brain that takes part in pubity is probably not quite finished (its one of the last changes in pubity so even though you're 18, it's still going on), so your frontal lobes aren't quite able to keep the rest of your mind in order alowing the base urges to have more control than they should (like anger, and mood swings).
You want us to tell you it'll be all right in the end, and maybe polish your ego a little.
Well it's not going to be all right in the end, the best most people can hope for is OK, and just make the most of it.
As for your ego, well you don't really need it polishing do you? That doesn't strike me as something the real kronas needs.

Any of that make sense?

kronas · 02-04-2004, 04:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Ok serious head on.
You're at that stage of life when your body is telling you that you are a man, and not a child, so its viewing your parents as holding you back somewhat.

not really my parents have always been 'free' with me (most of the time)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

You're in a situation where you want to be able to run free, but it's just not possible.
You're mind's feeling trapped.

yep

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Probably your friends seem childlike, or clingy, adding to the mental pressure.

yeah, i want to be serious and talk about worthwhile things, while they insist on talking about 'reality tv' or immature stuff.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

You've got health problems (no idea what they are, if you wanted us to know, I'm sure you'd tell us) which doesn't help.

ive documented them on here before, lack of sleep, the biggest problem is eating and bringing about a balance of foods that i eat, in other words i eat little, although i have started to eat once or twice a day irratic patterns such as 3-4 days without eating occour still, it is a long term problem, affecting me for about 5-7 years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

You've been knocked back in job interviews because you don't have the qualifications you need due to being held back by your health.

yep, i try and change that (qualifications bit) but smething goes wrong (health or something else)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

You want someone to come along and fix it all, but then again you don't because that will take the control away from you.

a solution yes, only i can do something to get myself out of this......what it is i dont know, my sense of direction is not 'with me'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

People around you aren't on the same wavelength as you so they aren't able to pick up on the sublte bodylanguage to adjust to how you want them to be.

i dont want anyone to adjust how 'i' want them to be, its just about them not spouting useless crap such as: hear about this show about a family getting there house cleaned' or someone taking the mickey out of you for a laugh, or even spouting stupid obscenities as a 'laugh'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

The final part of the changes to your brain that takes part in pubity is probably not quite finished (its one of the last changes in pubity so even though you're 18, it's still going on), so your frontal lobes aren't quite able to keep the rest of your mind in order alowing the base urges to have more control than they should (like anger, and mood swings).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

You want us to tell you it'll be all right in the end, and maybe polish your ego a little.

no i was looking towards a solution.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

As for your ego, well you don't really need it polishing do you? That doesn't strike me as something the real kronas needs.

i dont need an ego polishing just some direction as to what to do in my state, im not a person to have an ego, or look for sympathy, merely help and solutions......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xaccers

Any of that make sense?

most of it

Xaccers · 02-04-2004, 04:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

not really my parents have always been 'free' with me (most of the time)

So have mine with me, heck they used to let me snorkel up and down the reef when I was 5 all on my own (hmm maybe they were trying to get rid of me?) but I still can't stand to be around them much, which is hard as I live with them (oh god I'm sad, 27 on monday and living at home!)

Quote:

yeah, i want to be serious and talk about worthwhile things, while they insist on talking about 'reality tv' or immature stuff.......

Yup, know what you mean. Now and again I could get my mates to sit down at 11pm and we'd have a good old go at putting the world to rights, was great, but wasn't often enough.
Even at uni there were only a few people of that maturity/wavelenght that I met.

Quote:

ive documented them on here before, lack of sleep, the biggest problem is eating and bringing about a balance of foods that i eat, in other words i eat little, although i have started to eat once or twice a day irratic patterns such as 3-4 days without eating occour still, it is a long term problem, affecting me for about 5-7 years.

Horlicks!
You probably already have, but see about getting refered to a sleep specialist, work out a plan to get your body used to shutting down. It's bloody hard I know, lying there, seeing 6am getting closer and closer, mind spinning and no chance of sleep.
I find having the TV on helps (plus can give really surreal dreams). I noticed that if I was watching a program I'd be nearly falling asleep, soon as I turned the telly off, bang! I was wide awake.
If you've tried a sleep specialist and it didn't work, go back and keep trying things. Even a different sleep specialist. Don't let your GP fob you off with sleeping pills etc, you need to train yourself to sleep.

Quote:

yep, i try and change that (qualifications bit) but smething goes wrong (health or something else)

Talk to your Local Education Authority and the local college about your situation. See if you can do the courses you want but at your own pace, so if it takes an extra couple of years due to health problems, you won't be penalised for it.
Then work at it!
Will be easier knowing that if you fall ill, or something else happens, it won't hold you back.

Quote:

a solution yes, only i can do something to get myself out of this......what it is i dont know, my sense of direction is not 'with me'

Who needs a sense of direction? That just ties you down and restricts your options.
If I stuck to what I thought was the direction I wanted to go in, I'd be a teacher, on crap money, trying to inspire disillusioned kids.

Quote:

Pubity doesn't finish with your voice going deep

It takes years of subtle changes.
In your brain, the bit that keeps order/controls base emotional response (ie stops you acting like a caveman) is the last bit to be updated, hence why you get so many "kevin's"

Quote:

i dont need an ego polishing just some direction as to what to do in my state, im not a person to have an ego, or look for sympathy, merely help and solutions......

As I said, you aren't someone who strikes me as needing an ego polish, glad to have been proved right

Directions aren't all they're cracked up to be, as I said. What if some doorway opens up that's leading in a different direction? If you ignored it you could miss out on so much (could be missing out on a load of crap but thats just life)

Quote:

most of it

I still have the knack

chambece · 02-04-2004, 04:54

Regarding the qualifications, have you tried the Open Universisty? as far as I am aware they have no mimimum age as such (the youngest grad was 17). Or alternativly many local colleges can or should be able to adapt courses to more 'distance learning', and should hopefully be able to accomodate any health problems a little easier.

I've got a few other things on my mind as well regarding this, but need to think how to best phrase them!!

Halcyon · 02-04-2004, 10:52

Hey there, Im sorry to hear that things are not going too well for you.

Everytime I see a post by you on the forums I think quite highly of you as they are interesting posts and your comments are interesting about many world topics that you bring up.
This leads me to believe that you are an interesting person and that you can get somewhere.

2 years ago I was on a Uni course that I gradually hated and by Christmas I was hating it so much and I didnt know what else to do.
I spent days at home pondering how I was now in a "hole" where I didnt know what to do with my life.
Eventually I thought about what I had wanted to do and I said I'd give it a go, and now I'm into my Multimedia Design course.

Basically what I am saying is... for your education and job prospects, give it a long think over. Is there anything you might want to try or even take a new direction in ?

During my time when I didnt know what to do I went to my local job , Careers, and advice centre in town and they were very helpful.
I'm sure there is one in every town. Thery offer free help and advice.

They can help in giving you guidance for building up a CV, writing cover letters, and seeking out what are your strengths and weaknesses.
They can point you in the right direction.

You mentioned you are quite bored at the moment and feeling depressed.
I have a friend who was also in this situation and he was getting really bored staying in all the time and not getting anywhere. So he decided to do some voluntery work. This isnt everyones cup of tea but if you can find something you enjoy doing, it can look great on a CV and gives you something to do.

Alternatively, have you thgought about getting away for a while ?
Maybe a holiday or doing project work.....eg work abroad, camp america, teaching English in China, etc. These things generally cost a bit but for a change, and to give you a whole new experience, then it can be useful for some people.

As for your friends and family..... It is sometimes hard to talk to people and for them to listen properly.
I've often found that either they will not listen properly and joke around and not really care, or they will make a bigger fuss out of it and tend to make things worse than help, or not understand roperly.
Maybe you need to find one friend that can really listen to you, one that you trust and that you can share things with.
Maybe even speaking to someone outside your friends could help, eg. a counseller or your doctor, as taking anti depressants is best to be talked thruogh thoroughly before taking them.
Have you also talked to someone about your eating problem ? Maybe a doctor could help you with that.

You say you often want to be alone and sometimes its the best thing as you know that you are the only one that is going thruogh this and that no one else can help.
However this is where you could totally shut them out and then things would get really bad. So they annoy you at times, but I'm sure they care about you. Have you told your parents about any of this ?

All I can say to you is try to think about anything you've always wanted to do. Think of this time as a changing time and that you want to re-start your life.
Find out about any courses in your area, go out, and try new things and have fun.
Its probably still not too late to get something sorted for the summer.
Maybe you could go do some work experience / go off on a holiday to think things though, or enrol on a course.

As you have mentioned, you do not want to take anti depressants and you want to get out of this siuation you are in, and I think that you are on your way, as unlike some people, you actually see where things are wrong and are ready to try and sort things out.

I was just thinking if I had Avril's phone number I'd give her a call and ask her to come round to your house to cheer you up, but I seem to have lost it. ;-)

Just remember that its not the end of the world and that you can get thruogh this. Forget people who do not listen to you and the friends that are too immature. Discover new people to talk to and that will lead to you discovering new things.

Ok, I think I am ranting on now so I'l stop. I'm not too sure if anyting I wrote made sense, but I wish you good luck.

Paulie · 02-04-2004, 10:53

Do you play chess?

Try http://www.redhotpawn.com it gets pretty addictive, but it`s better than drugs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kronas

ok many of you know i have been having problems lately, with life in general, well things arent much better, faced with an ever increasing upsurge in boredom, and risking a possabilty of taking anti depressants (something which i dont want to do) additional problems are, everyone is annoying me, in terms of my family and freinds, i feel like telling them to shut the f*** up and just consolidate myself in to a life of boredom and suppression in my own world, i dont want that, but im lost at the moment and dont know what to do............

its like being pulled in two ways, you want to be alone, yet you want to be active do something........