Love and Death

I have been wondering over the last six weeks about how being in love leaves us open to such pain and hartache.

To qualify.....

My partner, died on the 17.02.2004 from injuries she received in a car accident. Since then I have been having trouble comming to terms with Maureen's death and how it has changed my life.

Maureen and I met in Toronto in September last year. At the time I was on holiday and had just witnessed my cousin Nicole getting married. Maureen and I where introduced by my second cousin Catherine on the following Monday, and by the end of the week.................. well, I know Maureen was more than a holiday romance.

Over the course of the next two months Maureen and I kept in touch via email, msn and phone. Maureen took a 3 week holiday in November and visited her cousin, who at the time was writing for the World Woldlife Fund on location in Hungery. Maureen decided that she would like to come to Belfast for a week of this holiday and see me, and the places I liked to go. As a result Maureen decided to take a six month leave of absence from her work as an ER nurse in St Michaels Hospital in Toronto.

After a lot of work on her part, Maureen arrived in Belfast on 12.02.2004 and happily was moved into a house together. God, great times

Then just after midnight on the night of 16 / 17.02.2004, on our way home from a friends house, the car we where passengers in was involved in a RTA. I ended out in Hospital with 8 broken ribs, and various other injuries from which I'm still recovering from. Maureen on the other hand died from severe internal injuries she received in the crash.

So.............. the questions are..........

1). Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all???

2). Why do bad things happen to good people, when people why act like demons live long and unproductive lives???

3). Is there something after?????????????????????

Thanks E.O.B.

[Russ]

Wow, such tragic circumstances. Although it will do nothing to ease your pain, you have my condolencies.

1) Yes I think it's best to have experienced love at least once in your life. It would be an awful thing to miss out on.

2) The people who act like demons, well, we don't often get to see the full picture. Take that 20 year old little oik who won £10 million on the lottery but was in court recently for drug possession and handling stolen good. He got off with little more than a slap on the wrist and showed little remorse. In fact the only thing he looked sorry for was getting caught. Doesn't really seem fair does it? But you never know, perhaps he'll end up with an illness that his millions can do nothing about. We just don't know.

3) A contentious subject. Look at the incredible universe around us. Look at the beauty of a sunset. The smell of the sea. A hazy, warm summer's day. Look at all these things and to assume that there is nothing after our life on earth is, IMO, foolhardy. There is just too much around us to assume we only get our 70-odd years of life, then it's over.

Not sure if any of this helps you...

[Nikko]

I am sorry to hear of your Loss. I hope sharing it - the act of setting it down helps. I am sure you will receive a warm and sympathetic set of responses here - Russ has already set a precedent.

I do not have any tangible answers - except to 1) Yes, for sure it was better to have had the love. No-one can remove those memories - keep them safe.

[kronas]

'earl of bronze' im saddened by your loss, i know i dont know you or anyone else related to you, but the way things happen, happen for a reason, i know fate can draw people togethor and even drive them away, but you have the memorys with you those will always be with you, the pain of the loss will hurt you the most, but you must keep strong inside for yourself for the sake of maureen, im sure she would want you to move on with your life, but you can never forget someone who is close to you, who gave you a relationship that only love can bring, just cherish the moments and try to move on, it will be hard, but you must keep strong and fight.......

[kronas]

Originally Posted by Earl of Bronze

So.............. the questions are..........

1). Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all???

2). Why do bad things happen to good people, when people why act like demons live long and unproductive lives???

3). Is there something after?????????????????????

Thanks E.O.B.

sorry as soon as i read the lot i had forgotten the questions

1) its better to have been loved, you can keep those moments inside......

2) sadly life tends to be like that, sometimes others get it 'easy' others struggle, some are luckier then others, only your 'will power' to change things can help you overcome the doom and gloom.

3) there always is, you may think its dark and nothing is out there, but before you know it something positive will come out and hit you on the head its going to happen, but you cant expect things to happen quickly, you must try and be patient.......

[50420]

Originally Posted by Russ D

Wow, such tragic circumstances. Although it will do nothing to ease your pain, you have my condolencies.

1) Yes I think it's best to have experienced love at least once in your life. It would be an awful thing to miss out on.

2) The people who act like demons, well, we don't often get to see the full picture. Take that 20 year old little oik who won £10 million on the lottery but was in court recently for drug possession and handling stolen good. He got off with little more than a slap on the wrist and showed little remorse. In fact the only thing he looked sorry for was getting caught. Doesn't really seem fair does it? But you never know, perhaps he'll end up with an illness that his millions can do nothing about. We just don't know.

3) A contentious subject. Look at the incredible universe around us. Look at the beauty of a sunset. The smell of the sea. A hazy, warm summer's day. Look at all these things and to assume that there is nothing after our life on earth is, IMO, foolhardy. There is just too much around us to assume we only get our 70-odd years of life, then it's over.

Not sure if any of this helps you...

wise words russ... couldnt have put that better myself....

earl...have sent u a PM