Parents and sex education...

[Osem]

Yet again there's a debate about sex education and today's youth but what is it that makes some parents unable to talk to their children about sex?

Both my wife and I were brought up by parents who were reluctant ever to talk to us about such things. In our house my father would stand in front of the television if anything remotely sexual appeared unexpectedly - not that there was much to worry about in those days! My mother was only slightly more forthcoming but really didn't like to dwell on the topic.

Our eldest is now a teenager and starting to ask more about stuff like that. Neither myself or my wife have any problem at all discussing it with him - the only issue being how much detail we might go into depending on what the issue is. It appears, however, whilst parents often say they are concerned about what their children may be getting up to, we still have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe and so many don't apparently make the effort to talk to their offspring about love, relationships, sex etc. - something I just can't understand.

[Chris]

We're still quite reserved as a nation, especially when it comes to discussing intimate stuff. That's no reason for us not to try, but I do think it offers some sort of explanation.

[tweetypie/8]

Originally Posted by Osem

Yet again there's a debate about sex education and today's youth but what is it that makes some parents unable to talk to their children about sex?

Both my wife and I were brought up by parents who were reluctant ever to talk to us about such things. In our house my father would stand in front of the television if anything remotely sexual appeared unexpectedly - not that there was much to worry about in those days! My mother was only slightly more forthcoming but really didn't like to dwell on the topic.

Our eldest is now a teenager and starting to ask more about stuff like that. Neither myself or my wife have any problem at all discussing it with him - the only issue being how much detail we might go into depending on what the issue is. It appears, however, whilst parents often say they are concerned about what their children may be getting up to, we still have the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe and so many don't apparently make the effort to talk to their offspring about love, relationships, sex etc. - something I just can't understand.

sad to say but todays kids could probably educate you.

[supremus]

The problem with many parents' "sex education" of their children is that it's utterly clueless, and often quite incomprehensible. To this day, I still haven't got a clue what the birds and the bees are all about. Do birds have sex with bees??? I don't get it.

The biggest stumbling block for parents is the embarrassment issue. On some level, they'd kind of like to keep up the pretense that they don't engage in these sordid acts themselves, but really, kids are going to work that one out for themselves sooner or later. The best way to go about it is to just be honest about who puts what where, and what the dangers are.

[RizzyKing]

I am not sure it is the problem it once was and that more parents these days are happoer and more aboe to discuss the issue of sex with their kids. I know my wife and i have had many conversations with our kids on the subject and the implications of it and so have many other parents i know. It was a problem in the past and personally i never had any sort of conversation with my parents about it. Where some parents have a problem is they believe rightly or wrongly that in being open about it they worry they may be seen to be encouraging it. It is a situation that is getting better and as with most things it will take time.

[Osem]

Originally Posted by tweetypie/8

sad to say but todays kids could probably educate you.

errrmmmmm...... well I have learned a bit over the last few decades of practicing

Seriously though I can see two sides to this problem and concede that there's not much a parent can do to make their children talk about sex if they don't want to for whatever reason. I find it much harder to understand how today's parents can be so embarrassed about something so normal especially when they tend to allow their young girls to dress up in a manner quite inappropriate for their age.

Those who reckon we all grow up as images of our parents and wind up emulating their behaviour (e.g. smacking) are wrong in that respect. I'm nothing like my parents and have a much more open relationship with my children than they did with theirs.

[joglynne]

My parents never approached the subject of sex and I decked the first first person who told me what it entailed. We were about 8 or 9 at the time and he was my friends brother.

20 odd years later John and I just answered our son's questions honestly and took our lead from him as to how much information he wanted to know. A friend of mine being pregnant opened up the subject when he was about 6 and I think our not treating his questions at that time in a embarrassed fashion set the tone and he never seemed to have a problem approaching us after that.

[Angua]

Originally Posted by joglynne

My parents never approached the subject of sex and I decked the first first person who told me what it entailed. We were about 8 or 9 at the time and he was my friends brother.

20 odd years later John and I just answered our son's questions honestly and took our lead from him as to how much information he wanted to know. A friend of mine being pregnant opened up the subject when he was about 6 and I think our not treating his questions at that time in a unembarrassed fashion set the tone and he never seemed to have a problem approaching us after that.

Sensible approach. All I would add is that some children can be embarrassed by their parents talking about sex (and switch off) just as much as the other way round.

[BBKing]

"Do birds have sex with bees???"

Only once, on the whole.

[soup dragon]

if we even mention in passing anything like this to my 14 year old daughter she runs from the room!!!

I know they do get a lot more info in schools these days, starting quite young - 7/8yrs