Parents dumping children

Osem · 04-05-2008, 20:56

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7382924.stm

I tend to agree - breakfast clubs, after school clubs etc. are all too often being used as cheap child care. Our eldest does karate classes 4 evening a week - in the average class of around 20 pupils I'd say that at around 25% are there simply to fill time while their parents do whatever they do. They have no interest in progressing and their parents never bother to watch how they perform. They just drop them off and pick them up. I have some sympathy where money is a real issue but quite a few of those those we've come across own several nice cars and enjoy expensive holidays abroad. Perhaps they place more importance on their lifestyles than their role as parents.

homealone · 04-05-2008, 21:59

I'm not so sure 'dumping' is the right interpretation for all parents taking advantage of the support available - shift work can impose massive problems on young families, for example?

Nor to deny 'taking advantage' can become just that, with some people...

However I fully support initiatives where resources, such as school gyms & playing fields, might be used to benefit the community outside of 'school hours'

**Maggy J** · 04-05-2008, 22:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osem

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7382924.stm

I tend to agree - breakfast clubs, after school clubs etc. are all too often being used as cheap child care. Our eldest does karate classes 4 evening a week - in the average class of around 20 pupils I'd say that at around 25% are there simply to fill time while their parents do whatever they do. They have no interest in progressing and their parents never bother to watch how they perform. They just drop them off and pick them up. I have some sympathy where money is a real issue but quite a few of those those we've come across own several nice cars and enjoy expensive holidays abroad. Perhaps they place more importance on their lifestyles than their role as parents.

Well it's not that cut and dried..Some parents are working at low paid jobs and may well have to work particular shifts which will mean that they finish after school has ended.

Personally I would rather a child was attending a breakfast club or post school club rather than being a latchkey kid in an empty house watching rubbish cartoons.Also gone are the days when people lived and died in the area they were born in and as a consequence many don't have any extended family nearby to help out.

Why work..well children are expensive to care for and there are any number of people(quite a few are members here) whom complain about the fact that they as childless singletons have to pay for other people's children and they think it's unfair.So parents who work are being responsible in trying to pay their way in a world that is ever increasingly becoming expensive.The days of a stay at home mother have long gone if you are a low to medium income family.

kingbuxton · 04-05-2008, 22:09

Agreed. If a parent has to work to support the child, better they are in a club than alone in a house. BUT, I am a big believer in if you don't have to work to support the child then one of the parents should raise them.

**Maggy J** · 04-05-2008, 23:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by kingbuxton

Agreed. If a parent has to work to support the child, better they are in a club than alone in a house. BUT, I am a big believer in if you don't have to work to support the child then one of the parents should raise them.

Well I disagree.What if both parents are vital key workers that are in short supply?Also what ever happened to free will and democracy?Perhaps mum will be a better parent if she feels she has worth as an employee especially if she is in a profession such as teaching,medicine or law and her future career will be affected if she stops to be a stay at home mother and after all being a mother is hardly high status in todays society.It also may be that we are talking one parent family as well.

There's too much finger wagging at parents as it is from the childless gripers to the moaning minnies complaining about the moral decay of society's fibre. Yes some parents are bad parents but they would be whether in full time employment or not.

Anyway shouldn't BOTH parents be raising the child?Stay at home dads are more common than they were but they still aren't the normal state of affairs.

kingbuxton · 04-05-2008, 23:39

Actually I was saying agree with what you said.

Quote:

I would rather a child was attending a breakfast club or post school club rather than being a latchkey kid in an empty house watching rubbish cartoons

If they have to work to support a child, then both parents come into play, if both have to work, so be it, we aren't all born with silver spoons in our mouths. However if that isn't the case, the lower earner should stay home till the child hits primary School.

Maybe it is me, I dunno, but nothing comes in front of a child, nothing. If you can't afford one, don't have one. If you aren't prepared to put a career on hold, don't have one. A child is the biggest privelage we have.

BTW, Pompey in the Cup or Southampton staying up, which put a smile on your face?

**Maggy J** · 04-05-2008, 23:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by kingbuxton

Actually I was saying agree with what you said.

If they have to work to support a child, then both parents come into play, if both have to work, so be it, we aren't all born with silver spoons in our mouths. However if that isn't the case, the lower earner should stay home till the child hits primary School.

Maybe it is me, I dunno, but nothing comes in front of a child, nothing. If you can't afford one, don't have one. If you aren't prepared to put a career on hold, don't have one. A child is the biggest privelage we have.

BTW, Pompey in the Cup or Southampton staying up, which put a smile on your face?

Well we will have just agree to disagree.If folk don't have children who will be paying for our pensions in the future?We need the next generation and even if both mum and dad work there is no guarantee that they will both get a decent pension UNLESS there are future generations to support the pensioners via National Insurance payments.

As for Pompey well hubby is delighted and consequently has no time for 'scummers'.As I point out to him my family were born and bred in Southampton so I'm a scummer anyway.I'm sad for the Saints but I'm sure they will make their way back some time in the future.As for Pompey well it was time something went their way.

Otherwise I'm not really a supporter of any team.Just mildly interested and hope both sides pull through.

Osem · 05-05-2008, 09:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

Well it's not that cut and dried..Some parents are working at low paid jobs and may well have to work particular shifts which will mean that they finish after school has ended.

Personally I would rather a child was attending a breakfast club or post school club rather than being a latchkey kid in an empty house watching rubbish cartoons.Also gone are the days when people lived and died in the area they were born in and as a consequence many don't have any extended family nearby to help out.

Why work..well children are expensive to care for and there are any number of people(quite a few are members here) whom complain about the fact that they as childless singletons have to pay for other people's children and they think it's unfair.So parents who work are being responsible in trying to pay their way in a world that is ever increasingly becoming expensive.The days of a stay at home mother have long gone if you are a low to medium income family.

You see there's the thing - I didn't say it was cut and dried and I did point out I have more sympathy where money (and hence work) are issues. The people I cited are not poor, far from it. They have good jobs, drive nice cars and holiday several times a year in places like Dubai, Kenya, Barbados and South Africa. The only thing they appear not to have time for is their children. In stark contrast, some of the best and most devoted parents I've come across have little money and poor jobs but still find plenty of quality time for their families. A good number of these have children with severe special needs which adds considerably to the burden yet they still manage.

Taf · 05-05-2008, 10:00

The extended school day is being used by jobcentres to push parents into work, especially lone parents, and I think the extended school day was designed specifically for this purpose.

Angua · 05-05-2008, 10:52

The worst thing about all these extended school days is that they are only there term time, so unless you have a well enough paid job you still have problems during the school holidays.

SMHarman · 05-05-2008, 16:13

I thought schools acted in loco parentis so by default you are abdicating responsibility to them when you hand your child over to them.

Taf · 05-05-2008, 17:55

I think the teaching unions got rid of that years ago... they won't even chase kids who run out of school... they just call the police.

You can deliver a kid to school, but if the kid then leaves, it is STILL your responsibilty.... and you can be fined and/or imprisonned for it!

**Maggy J** · 05-05-2008, 18:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taf

I think the teaching unions got rid of that years ago... they won't even chase kids who run out of school... they just call the police.

You can deliver a kid to school, but if the kid then leaves, it is STILL your responsibilty.... and you can be fined and/or imprisonned for it!

With all due respect that was the way the anti-smack brigade led us...All teachers have at their disposal as a form of punishment is detention which the little darlings fail to attend with the connivance of parents or suspension for a fixed term or being permanently excluded.The latter can be appealed and is only for accumulation of demerit or violence.

So you can see that it gives teachers limited control.

I personally think looking for a group to blame for all the ills of society is a little short sighted.Better to blame society as a whole for not getting it's collective backside together and going in the same direction.