Authorities act decisively to enforce UK border controls at last!

[Osem]

Well at long last the authorities have started to get tough when it comes to enforcing the UK's overstretched and much abused border controls.

Apparently several Metropolitan Police officers were employed in a vitally important operation to locate and apprehend Jose Morurinho's Yorkshire Terrier who was suspected on entering the UK without the correct documentation, thereby representing a major threat to national security. Sadly, however, in the resulting melee and torrent of Portuguese abuse, the mad manager was arrested and the dog escaped and is now being hunted by M15.

In these days of global terrorism with highly dangerous individuals being allowed to enter and freely roam these green and pleasant lands because imprisoning them breeches their rights and deporting them might jeopardise their safety, it's truly reassuring to learn that, whilst we may all be killed by dirty nukes, ricin laced water, polonium poisoned tea or chapati flour rucksack bombs, at any moment, at least we don't have the prospect of mad dogs to contend with.

[BBKing]

Ha ha ha.

I like the idea of jailing employers who let illegal immigrants work for them, even if the employer was unaware of their status. After all, wasn't it the Home Office that allowed illegal immigrants to work as cleaners last year? Step this way, Mr. Reid, you have the right to remain silent, you have the right to fall down the steps at the station...

[Osem]

Yeah good one that isn't it - I mean border security and immigration enforcement remains about as efficacious as a chocolate teapot so HMG's answer is to blame others and punish employers.